As a child, I did not get lox. I wasn’t a fan of anything salty or fishy. So lox were a double no in my book. But as a faithful Jew food lover (albeit an unknowledgeable one) I felt like I needed to learn to appreciate lox.
I still don’t like full bagels (too many carbs, not enough butter) but mini bagels do the trick. Schmeared with a generous dosage of cream cheese (either plain, full fat, or the kind riddled with herbs), some lox and a couple capers, these guys are my perfect food. I don’t have them often, due to the ridiculously high price of lox, but I still love ’em.
Slug also loves lox, being a lover of anything fishy or salty. So lox are a double yes for her.
I recently made a trip to Whole Foods for fancy butter and almond flour. While I was there, I saw a sign proclaiming a one-day-only Lox sale. I eagerly began snatching up lox, reading all about how I could freeze them for a month, and have lox forever. But sadly, the day I was there was not the true lox on sale day. That day was a week later. Last Friday.
Now, normally in order to do big food shopping, my mother drives me in her car to either Wegmans or Whole Foods. This is great when she can drive me, but she has a job working for PAHO (Pan American Health Organization) three days a week up in DC, and needs plenty of time to nap on her days off. Thus last Friday, Slug and I embarked on a quest. A trek, if you will, through the wild streets of Baltimore (not as scary as it sounds) in order to find Whole Foods, only a measly 3.6 miles away.
Most of the walk was uneventful. Sure, there were times when the sidewalk disappeared and I was stuck between brush and moving vehicles. But that is something I can deal with.
However, about half a mile before we hit our goal, the sidewalk was gone and there was no space for even a smidgen of a person. The other side of the street beamed with a pristine, pale, cement pedestrian path. But we could not cross. We were on the middle of a hill in the middle of a curve, unable to see any cars coming or going, only viewing them as they passed us.
Crossing the street was out, and the other option appeared to be going uphill on a street that was kind of perpendicular to the one google maps said we must follow. But we didn’t know where it led and we were both hungry for free samples. So we made a decision. We were going to sneak through people’s back yards, until we found the street again. We could see up ahead in the distance that our side of the street regained a sidewalk. It had to be done.
The first house was a cinch; there was even a path down their ivy-covered hill to the next house. But the next house had no path. And it was a steep climb down to their driveway (which luckily reached the sidewalked street). Or at least it seemed to me. In actuality, it was two or three feet above the ground. Slug walked down with ease, as I trembled with fear at the top of the ravine. Finally, urged on by her persistent warning of the people in the houses seeing us and calling the police and then the police arresting us and getting us kicked out of school, I took the plunge.
And walked down two feet. I didn’t even feel that urge to run that one often does at the bottom of actually steep hills. It was a rather leisurely descent. And spurred on by our brief foray into criminal activities, we raced the last few hundred feet to our destination.
The cheese samples were, of course, magnificent. There was fancy butter all over the place and I managed to find beautiful avocados that were not over priced. And the lox, oh the lox. Placed in big ice boxes, with huge signs proclaiming that they were $3 ($3!!) off their normal price, we eagerly grabbed them up, along with pineapple free samples and stolen olives.
Perhaps the happiest moment of all was when we called our friend Shark Boy, visiting from the Caymens, to come pick us up. It took him seven minutes to get there, and the drive back was pleasant, if a bit cramped in the back of his Mini.